don't rain on my parade

as i sat home watching glee one night i watched as leah michelle sang don't rain on my parade from the musical funny girl....as she sang i began to get goosebumps all over my body, and i knew at that moment that this was my song. all throughout my life i had been told i wasn't good enough, not talented enough, not smart enough and should just give up on what i loved most....singing. now i don't claim to be the best, i quite actually just think i'm your average singer. i never did get the solos or the leads but that never stopped me. i worked and i worked really hard. don't get me wrong i still have a lot of insecurities about myself and as much as i try and hide them they are still there. but this is my anthem, and yours. to those people who told you that you would never make it, this is your song to them. so don't get discouraged or fake it, be strong and don't ever give up. why? because nobody's gonna rain on my parade! 


Don't tell me not to live, 
just sit and putter,
life's candy and the sun's 
a ball of butter.
don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!
don't tell me not to fly--
i've simply got to.
if someone takes a spill,
it's me and not you.
who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade!


I'll march my band out,
I'll beat my drum,
and if i'm fanned out.
your turn at bat, sir.
at least i didn't fake it.
Hat, sir, i guess i didn't make it! 


but whether i'm the rose 
of sheer perfection
or freckle on the nose
of life's complexion,
the cinder or the shiny apple of it's eye.


i gotta fly once,
i gotta try once,
only can die once, right, sir?
ooh, life is juicy,
juicy, and you see 
I gotta have my bite, sir!


Get ready for me, love,
cause i'm a comma,
i've simply gotta march
my hearts a drummer
don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!


i'm gonna live and live now,
get what i want--i know how
one roll for the whole show band,
one throw that bell will go clang.
eye on the target and wham
one shot, one gun shot, and BAM


Hey, Mister Armstein,
Here I am!!!


I'll march my band out,
I'll beat my drum, 
and if i'm fanned out,
your turn at bat sir,
at least i didn't fake it.
Hat, sir, i guess i didn't make it.
Get ready for me, love,
cause i'm a comma 
i've simply gotta march,
my heart's a drummer.
nobody, no, nobody
is gonna rain on my parade!!! 

 

wishes

 i wish i would

• stop biting my fingernails 
• save more money
• drink more water
• write you more
• prioritize my time better
• take my real estate test
• have courage
• wake up earlier
• go to bed earlier
• smile more
• help more
• say i love you more
• laugh more
• cry more
• listen 
• stay strong
• clean my room
• do the laundry
• learn how to cook
• follow my dreams
• get ready more
• learn spanish
• try harder in school
• forgive you
• stop letting the past hold me back
• live in the now
• stop and realize how lucky i am
• do the things i wished for...

"a goal without a plan is only a wish"
             -larry elder

good in goodbye

i look back on the last 4 years of my life and realize that i really am grateful for everything that has happened, for the heartbreaks, the pain, the disappointment, the tears, the mistakes, and the faith that came from it all. the faith that the lord has a plan for me. "i thank god i didn't get what i thought that i deserved"....why you ask? because he knew i deserved something better. i'm not going to sit here and act like i still don't think about you sometimes, because i do. i'll hear a song or a movie that reminds me of you, and sometimes the thought of you will randomly come to my mind. it's not because i'm bitter or angry or because i'm still in love with you it's simply because there will always be a piece of me that really cares about you, that hopes you're happy and doing good,  and that you accomplish all of those goals and dreams that boy i once knew had. but thank you for everything you did for me, for being the first boy i ever loved, for helping me grow up, and for breaking my heart. because it taught me how to be strong, and helped me realize what i really deserve. i'm grateful i've finally seen the reason things happened the way they did, and i'm glad i've seen the "good in goodbye"

I heard you laughing in a crowd outside a restaurant we used to go to
I caught a glimpse that stopped me in my tracks
It took me back
You looked happy with that little girl on your shoulders, happy
I know where she got those crystal eyes of blue
Time’s been sweet to you


As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy
I found somebody too who makes me happy
And I knew one day I’ll see you on the street
And it’d be bittersweet


As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye
Yeah, yeah


As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you got to let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Yeah someday you’ll see the reason why
There’s good in goodbye, yeah
There’s good in goodbye

wednesdays

i find it funny that no matter how many dates i go on, or how many cute boys i meet, i don't seem to get those crazy swarming butterflies i get when i get an email, or a letter, or better yet a tape from you. although you're 2500+ miles away the thought of you puts the biggest smile on my face. it's been 9 months now since i've last seen you. sometimes it feels as if time is rushing on by and i hardly notice how long it's been since i've seen that sun kissed skin and that magnificent smile. and sometimes it feels like you're never coming home. but over everything i've come to love Wednesdays. why? because Wednesdays are our days....i get one hour sometimes more sometimes less to just sit and chat with you over email. you'd think that because i haven't seen you, or really talked to you that my love for you would wither or not be as strong. but it seems to shock me that every wednesday, or every random letter i get feels as if i just saw you the day before. it's  funny how when you want something bad enough everything seems to fall into place, things become a lot easier, and the end goal becomes your main focus.

..............................................................................

 so for now call me foolish, crazy, selfish, or whatever else you may think of me. just know that i'm in love, absolutely head over heels, crazy in love with this boy.