silence

-play before you read-

si-lence [sahy-luhns] noun, verb, si-lenced, si-lenc-ing, interjection

noun

1. absence of any sound or noise; stillness.

2. the state of being forgotten; oblivion

3. absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern 

i think more often then not we are constantly in search for the right words

to say in different situations in our lives. always worried that we are going to say

the wrong thing and hurt someone in the process of all of our confusion. 

but i've come to find that 

sometimes not saying anything at all hurts a lot more then saying something. 

all i want is a "i'm sorry for what happened" maybe then i wouldn't feel the way i

do. maybe if i heard those words i wouldn't be so disappointed in myself. i thought i 

knew better, but man oh man did you have me fooled. but thats the thing about silence. 

i'll never really know what goes through your head, nor do i really care to know. 

i believed in you. you proved me wrong. and all i have is silence and disappointment.

YOU SUCK. 

you

i sit in a dark room and listen to you play your guitar over and over again.
no you aren't here, psh i wish you were, but if i close my eyes
and loose myself in your song i feel as if you're sitting on the bed right
 next to me, just like old time.


it amazes me that just the sound of your voice makes me loose all control.
i forgot what those crazy butterflies felt like...and not your normal in the stomach
butterflies but the ones that start in my heart and and slowly move up by my collarbone..
sounds strange right? well it is. but no one, not one person gives me those crazy weird
butterflies but you.


it's been a year now. a long year, but one more year closer to when i get to see you again.
i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss you a lot. i miss our drives. i miss you holding my hand.
i miss eating a whole water melon while watching baseball and lying on your hammock while
we wished on stars and talked about the future. i miss your high pitched laugh and your smile.
i miss hearing you tell me you love me. but in due time i'll get that all again. i just know it.
because how can something this great not work out.


thank you for leaving me little notes,videos and recording that i find every once in awhile.
it makes me smile knowing you would know how much i would miss you. and that even though you
are 2000 miles away, you still are taking care of me.


thank you for making me fall more in love with you everyday.


in the words of Nicolas Sparks "I love you, not just for now, but for always, and i dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms again."