debby downer

the above picture is something i'm constantly reminding myself of on a daily basis. it's been eight months. eight long. sometimes great sometimes horribly miserable. but always trying to stay positive months. this isn't easy. it's not something i thought i would ever do again. and yet here i am. having the most important times of my life. and not being able to share it with my best friend. about a week ago or so i go a letter from mr griner himself. well of course it was amazing because well all his letter are amazing but in it he wrote a quote that reminded him of me while he was watching the emma smith movie and it said "strength isn't something that you have it's something that you find." i've found myself lately having to have a lot of strength in myself. not just in my relationship with matt. but in everything. and it's not always easy to be strong. most of the time it's a lot easier to sit on the sidelines and watch. i'm at a loss for words tonight. i feel a little empty, confused, and frustrated. i'm curious to see how these next few months will play out and what the lord has in store for me. but in the mean time i miss my best friend. wish me luck with these next few months, i'm going to need it.